Is it possible to miss someone that you barely know?
I met someone at the library a little over two months ago. At first we just started talking about these medical boards. Little clips of conversation here and there. But by the end of the week, the conversation turned from “how are you doing” to “what do you do to deal with the stress, I’m so exhausted”.
There was something about him that was different that the pack of friends that he studied with. He seemed to be a part of them, and yet set aside. I could tell that although he fit in with them, there was still something amiss. I began to wonder if he was closeted too. There was just little clues here and there. As we got to know each other, there was a few things that he said that gave me clues. Some of the things I do when I’m around my straight friends.
One day he looked over my shoulders and started to read my review books. I was reading my physical exam book. He said something about patients and doctors flirting. He said it with a smile and just then I noticed that there were green flecks in his eyes and that he had an amazing smile. I stared too long and panicked that he might have noticed. So I said something like patients flirting with physicians is completely unacceptable and vice versa.
He sort of laughed and then said something about getting back to his books.
I asked him if there was something that was stressing him besides the exam one day. He had come up to my desk, laid his head on the side that wasn’t covered with books and said “I’m so exhausted”. The look in his eyes was more than just physical or mental exhaustion. I asked if he was okay and he said he just need to rest for a little bit. I said if there was something wrong, at least he had his friends down here with him to talk to. He said a lot of the reason that he was exhausted has to do with them. And for some reason I thought to myself–he’s at the point in life where I am. He’s tired of pretending.
This has gotten a little long and I’ll continue to write more on this in a different post.
He is leaving this weekend for a rotation in a hospital in a different state. So I was thinking, I’m going to miss him…but I barely know him. Is that even possible?