It’s been over a year since I first posted. Not on this blog, but on the original, which got lost in the transition from blogspot to WordPress. I don’t lament the loss, someone told me to look at it as a new beginning, a fresh template onto which to express myself. I’ve looked at it that way.
One of my concerns is that I don’t feel like I’ve grown. One of the reasons that I started this blog was to express my feelings, my fears and my frustrations about being in the closet. Lately, I really haven’t written about this topic. I find myself deeper in the closet with my thoughts. I’m going to try and remedy this, and write about those fears, triumphs and questions once again.
I’m still in the closet when in comes to my family. I’ve told only my readers and a few choice people. If you go back a few posts, you’ll see that one of those experiences wasn’t so good. But one post which was lost in the transition was about a touching moment in my life when my cousin offered his shoulder to cry on and his strength to borrow whenever I needed it. I understand that there will be triumphant moments when a family member, a friend will open their arms and welcome this aspect of my life. I also understand that there will be those who will pretend our friendships and past relationships never happened. It’s a part of life. For me however, not being accepted is difficult. It’s difficult for all those who have gone through. I’m not the first who’ll be rejected because of homosexuality and I’m not the last. Hopefully, I’ll be part of a generation that will begin to accept this personality trait as just that, a genetic trait much like brown eyes or blond hair.
I’m still here. I guess you can say that I’ve got an ankle sticking out, if that much at all. I’m still trying to breathe under the circumstances. I’m still trying to get that window open, to let in some fresh air.