My Personal Meme

I read several blogs tonight, some of which had memes on them. I love memes. I think they are fun without being too invasive. Lately I’ve feared being too personal on this blog and I’ve got to get over it. The very reason I started this blog was to be share my thoughts and feelings with others.

So I’m going to share a memory I had from high school. It makes me realize that some people may have realized that I was already different back then.

I don’t remember the name of the body spray, but the commercials always had a bunch of guys following whatever girl was wearing it. No matter where she walked a bunch of guys would immediately get a whiff of her and start to follow. There was a guy in my class who’s father was in the military. He was pretty strict with his sons and his sons also acted like they were in the military. They stood straight at attention. They answered the professors with a curt “yes sir or mam” and I could swear clicked their heels against the ground when they would make their turns in the hallway.

Anyway, one day in physics class, their sister who sat behind me whispered to someone sitting close by that her brothers jokingly said during the commercial “I wonder how many guys John would have follow him if he tied him down and sprayed him with that stuff”. She said that her father laughed so hard that his nearly crapped in his pants.

Later on that day I passed her brother in the hallway and he turned to the younger brother and made a spraying sound. Both laughed hysterically and clapped each other on the back. I remember going home that day not wanting to talk to anyone. My father asked me if I was feeling okay and I made the excuse that my stomach hurt. There were no abdominal pains, but there was a lot of nausea.

I hated that feeling. I still hate that memory. I know that it’s just that, a memory. But sometimes it still creeps up on me.

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7 Responses to “My Personal Meme”

  1. Daniel Says:

    Sounds like those brothers were following you in their minds. Too bad they chose to express it in such a negative way.

  2. Jim Says:

    Pure deflection. I bet the brothers are now sharing an apartment and boyfriend in Chelsea 🙂

  3. Lemuel Says:

    So many of us have painful memories such as these. In many of these incidents, I discovered in my lifetime that one or more of the perpetrators was covering their own fears/feelings/inclinations. If “dad” ran his household like a military platoon, I’m guessing these guys learned early on that they had to cover themselves. You were just the easy target. I think that the best thing we can do with such memories is to use them to make us more sensitive to others who are such targets as you were and to call out other perpetrators.

  4. Steven Says:

    Memories like those are what shape us for the future. Hopefully it has shaped you for the better. I could tell you some pretty terrible memories I had unrelated to being gay, and it only made me stronger when I head to confront the issue/problem head on. Hopefully you see a plus side to it.

  5. urspo Says:

    try to visualize the scene and then literallly unplugging your self from it; reclaim the energy that goes into the memory and then have a good laugh at it that it no longer can haunt you.

  6. stevewhirlyworld Says:

    Kids and sometimes parents can be mean. Learn from it and move forward. Sometimes it’s okay not to relive those moments. Hopefully it made you a stronger person.

  7. markofando Says:

    Want to start your private office arms race right now?

    I just got my own USB rocket launcher 🙂 Awsome thing.

    Plug into your computer and you got a remote controlled office missile launcher with 360 degrees horizontal and 45 degree vertival rotation with a range of more than 6 meters – which gives you a coverage of 113 square meters round your workplace.
    You can get the gadget here: http://tinyurl.com/2qul3c

    Check out the video they have on the page.

    Cheers

    Marko Fando

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