A Sun Roof

Last week before I left for vacation, I did some remodeling to my closet. I put in a sun roof.

I called one of my good friends from college, Chris, and told him I was gay. He was the one person I wanted to tell first. He was the person I wanted to tell first, I had always imagined telling first, and yet he was the one I was the most afraid to tell. I had gone over the conversation in my mind for years–both outcomes. What I would do if it had gone a different way than I had expected. How I would handle myself and the loss of friendship, what I would do to protect my emotions from that sort of blow.

He asked me who I was going on vacation with and then said “maybe you’ll meet someone and fall in love”.

I then said something like hopefully they’ll be gay like me.

There was a bit of silence on his end and I thought, not this again, not the silence. So I said, “I’m gay”.

Without missing a beat he said, “well he’d better be nice or he can answer to me”.

He then asked me why I felt compelled to tell him this. I told him I wasn’t sure why I wanted to tell him. He said that it didn’t change things, we were still friends and we would always remain friends. Chris said that he didn’t require formal interviews when becoming friends and race, creed, religion, sexual orientation were not part of a criteria that formulated the perfect friend in his mind.

And then he said something which struck me as awesome. He said “if I have any questions can I ask them without you getting defensive”? I told him yes and then he asked if I felt like talking about it anymore and I said not really. So at that point, our conversation turned back to the things we usually talked about–football, new DVDs, music, his wife and kids, and the good old college days.

Before he said goodbye, he said “My criteria for my friends consists of a person who loves me and my family”.

With that bit of encouragement, I called our other college roommate. I told Warren that I had just outed myself to Chris and so I was now telling him I’m gay.

Warren has a relative who he is really close to that is gay. Warren said something like “That’s okay, I’m straight! Can we still be friends?”. I laughed and told him we could be friends as long as he didn’t make passes at me. He told he didn’t have a fetish for guys with brown eyes!

And that was why I had a really relaxing vacation.

I’ll catch up on everyone’s blogs when I get a chance. I can’t wait to see what you guys were up to!


13 Responses to “A Sun Roof”

  1. Jason Says:

    It sounds like you have really good friends. I knew if you gave yourself some time and did things on your own terms, it would be much easier for you to tell them. I bet some of that weight is off your chest now.

  2. Lemuel Says:

    Oh, John! What a wonderful sunroof! I am so very happy that there is bright and good sunlight shining in what was once a dark place for you! This is great news!

  3. Doug Says:

    That’s the best way to start a vacation.

    It’s so good of you that you can accept someone even if they’re straight.

  4. "Joe" Says:

    The truth was spoken and no one died. Most of all, you! Congratulations. I applaud your courage. You really risked a lot, and I hope you see it was worth it.

    You go, bro.!

  5. kyle Says:

    brilliant. i’m so happy that it went well. i’m very proud of you.

    bar non, coming out to my college roomate was the hardest of all – and the best. he’s still a great friend.

  6. kyle Says:

    now, when can we get a picture of you 🙂

  7. urspo Says:

    good for you!

  8. steve'swhirlyworld Says:

    wooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo from TEXAS!!!! You go John! I’m so happy for you. I can hear the excitement in your post. The closet doors are opening and you’re still loved! Congratulations!

  9. Jim Says:

    See, its almost painless when you’ve picked the right friends. And you have!

  10. Steven Says:

    What great news to hear! I thought the sunroof was a nice added touch, too. 😉

  11. BruceCleveland Says:

    See coming out is not ALL bad experiences. 🙂 I am glad that it worked out for you and helped put you in a better mood for your vacation. I’m proud of you. Hopefully with a sunroof, comes some windows on the door and maybe, just maybe leaving the door unlocked 😉

    Seriously I am proud of you for taking that step…it’s a good feeling, don’t let other things bring you down AND definitely, most definitely remember these two experiences when it’s time to tell the next person…Acceptance is a wonderful feeling!

  12. brad73 Says:

    Those are true friends.

  13. Kris Says:

    Oh my, that’s awesome it turned out well with both of your friends. Am really glad for you, you have friends definitely for keeps.
    I like that lil joke you told Warren you can be friends as long as he doesn’t make a pass hahaha.

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