I haven’t written about this before and my blog crush Mr. Canada suggested that I write about it. He says that it would have been a good follow-up to one of my earlier posts.
I’m not sure if you remember my friend who I came out to several months ago. His reaction took me aback somewhat when he said “How am I suppose to deal with this”. He then asked me not to contact him until further notice.
Further notice came a few months later. I was getting ready to take an exam and I got a text message from him saying “good luck”. For the first time, I noticed that I didn’t care what he thought. I told Mr. Canada that the “good luck” salutation from him meant as much as a stranger saying “how you doing”? I remember thinking “okay it’s further notice for you, but now it’s my turn and my opinion is for you not to contact me until I’m ready to deal with you”.
I saw him a few weeks later at a camping trip that my college buddies usually plan. We were both the first to arrive at the campsite. I started walking toward the lodge to check in. I turned his way and smiled politely but kept walking. I saw that he was struggling getting his two young sons out of the car and so I stopped, just in case one decided to bolt and not look for on-coming traffic. The older of the two boys recognized me and smiled immediately. When he had the other one free from the car seat and placed him on the ground, he said “big hugs and kisses for Uncle John…go..”. The two boys immediately ran towards me and hugged me.
He walked over to me and I explained that I was going to check our group in. He said that he would buy some groceries to get us all started. When he grabbed the hand of his old son to get going, the child said “I want to stay with Uncle John and go to the lodge”. I said “maybe Daddy has some things he wants you to do, so you better ask him for permission first”.
My buddy said, “I consider you their uncle and so you have just as much say in what he does. If it’s alright for him to say, just say so. I trust you”.
At that moment I knew we would start to rebuild our friendship. I still had a lot of forgiving left to do, but I knew that we were going to be alright.