It Runs In The Family

I’ve gotten the pleasure to spend some time with some cousins I haven’t seen in quite some time. I didn’t really grow up with them, but saw them during yearly family get togethers, weddings, and every other holiday. But they came to visit and are staying with me for about two weeks.

Something about my cousin who just finished graduate school made my gaydar bleep. He’s quite outspoken, so I didn’t want to ask him about being gay (he may be the type that would out me if I made the wrong move). But there were little clues here and there that told me that he just might be a brother.

I want to know if there is some secret handshake, some silent sign that I can make to let him know that if he is gay, he can talk to me about it. However, I don’t want to be so blatant that if he isn’t gay, the gesture will just pass him over. This is one of my goals this week–to let him know he’s not alone.

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14 Responses to “It Runs In The Family”

  1. Lemuel Says:

    “intelesting, vely intelesting” (from Laff-In in the 1960’s)

  2. Paul Says:

    I’d just ask him. (In a totally non-judgmental tone, of course.)

    “Hey, cousin. I was just wondering. Are you gay.?”

    I’d assume that his answer would be:

    “No.”
    “Yes” … or
    “Why do you ask?”

    Have a reply for each option.

  3. Steven Says:

    Yes the secret handshake, I just learned that one. Now how did that go, one hand on hip and raise your pinkie finger of the other hand as you extend it, no wait I think it was pull one ear, never mind. How about you rent Brokeback Mountain and watch his reaction? Anyway don’t get yourself in a bad situation, he may be gay but just not ready to say it yet.

  4. KipEsquire Says:

    Ask him if he reads any blogs. 😉

  5. urspo Says:

    i concur; why pussyfoot around? ask him if he is dating somebody and who is in his life.

  6. Steven Says:

    Or better yet, ask him if he’s a friend of Dorothy’s! 😉
    We all know what that question means!

    But then again, if they’re staying with you for TWO WEEKS, maybe you’ll know after the first few days.

  7. Steven Says:

    P.S. – In regards to your post title, it runs rampant in my Dad’s side of the family. 😀

  8. Kris Says:

    If your gaydar went off, you might be right. I guess like Urspo said, ask him nonchalantly as to who he’s dating or something. Asking him whether he’s gay or not might be a little too much. He’s probably going through the same emotions as you are about the family finding out.

    Yay if he is! Haha 😀

  9. beartoast Says:

    After one of those overly long stares, right in the eyes, just say, “We ARE members of the same Family, aren’t we?” And see what you get.

    I can never remember the handshake. darn.

  10. Jim Says:

    Intuition, you’ve got it, use it. I bet after a couple of weeks, if he’s outspoken, you’ll have a definitive answer just by paying attention.

  11. Brad Says:

    I agree with Jim. In two weeks you should know.

  12. javabear Says:

    So, it’s been a few days. Are you any closer to discovering the answer to your question? And if so, how did you go about it?

  13. Robert Says:

    Didn’t he say something about your poster of Madonna in your bedroom? Or whenever you belt out a Celion Dion tune while you shower? Doh! KIDDING!! 🙂

    Seriously, I like Dr. Urspo’s approach. And nothing’s wrong being outt’d. I think it’s a wonderful idea! heh!

  14. Doug Says:

    My question has always been, “So, do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” It kinda lets them know you’re open minded enough to talk about it. They can answer whatever they’re comfortable with.

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