I’ve gotten the pleasure to spend some time with some cousins I haven’t seen in quite some time. I didn’t really grow up with them, but saw them during yearly family get togethers, weddings, and every other holiday. But they came to visit and are staying with me for about two weeks.
Something about my cousin who just finished graduate school made my gaydar bleep. He’s quite outspoken, so I didn’t want to ask him about being gay (he may be the type that would out me if I made the wrong move). But there were little clues here and there that told me that he just might be a brother.
I want to know if there is some secret handshake, some silent sign that I can make to let him know that if he is gay, he can talk to me about it. However, I don’t want to be so blatant that if he isn’t gay, the gesture will just pass him over. This is one of my goals this week–to let him know he’s not alone.
Open A Window 
January 15, 2008 at 1:58 am |
“intelesting, vely intelesting” (from Laff-In in the 1960’s)
January 15, 2008 at 2:39 am |
I’d just ask him. (In a totally non-judgmental tone, of course.)
“Hey, cousin. I was just wondering. Are you gay.?”
I’d assume that his answer would be:
“No.”
“Yes” … or
“Why do you ask?”
Have a reply for each option.
January 15, 2008 at 3:16 am |
Yes the secret handshake, I just learned that one. Now how did that go, one hand on hip and raise your pinkie finger of the other hand as you extend it, no wait I think it was pull one ear, never mind. How about you rent Brokeback Mountain and watch his reaction? Anyway don’t get yourself in a bad situation, he may be gay but just not ready to say it yet.
January 15, 2008 at 3:48 am |
Ask him if he reads any blogs. 😉
January 15, 2008 at 4:16 am |
i concur; why pussyfoot around? ask him if he is dating somebody and who is in his life.
January 15, 2008 at 4:02 pm |
Or better yet, ask him if he’s a friend of Dorothy’s! 😉
We all know what that question means!
But then again, if they’re staying with you for TWO WEEKS, maybe you’ll know after the first few days.
January 15, 2008 at 4:04 pm |
P.S. – In regards to your post title, it runs rampant in my Dad’s side of the family. 😀
January 15, 2008 at 5:52 pm |
If your gaydar went off, you might be right. I guess like Urspo said, ask him nonchalantly as to who he’s dating or something. Asking him whether he’s gay or not might be a little too much. He’s probably going through the same emotions as you are about the family finding out.
Yay if he is! Haha 😀
January 15, 2008 at 10:41 pm |
After one of those overly long stares, right in the eyes, just say, “We ARE members of the same Family, aren’t we?” And see what you get.
I can never remember the handshake. darn.
January 16, 2008 at 4:49 am |
Intuition, you’ve got it, use it. I bet after a couple of weeks, if he’s outspoken, you’ll have a definitive answer just by paying attention.
January 16, 2008 at 10:03 pm |
I agree with Jim. In two weeks you should know.
January 19, 2008 at 10:10 pm |
So, it’s been a few days. Are you any closer to discovering the answer to your question? And if so, how did you go about it?
January 21, 2008 at 4:21 pm |
Didn’t he say something about your poster of Madonna in your bedroom? Or whenever you belt out a Celion Dion tune while you shower? Doh! KIDDING!! 🙂
Seriously, I like Dr. Urspo’s approach. And nothing’s wrong being outt’d. I think it’s a wonderful idea! heh!
January 22, 2008 at 9:54 pm |
My question has always been, “So, do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” It kinda lets them know you’re open minded enough to talk about it. They can answer whatever they’re comfortable with.