I got an email today which was in hindsight somewhat cheesy. First of all it was one of those emails that had an attachment to it (I’m superstitious so when I get one of these “must forward” emails I usually end up forwarding it with an apology opening and explanation that I felt I must forward it). The fact that in order to find love, that love would come in the form of a phone call or a knock at the door, a sudden chance all due to the forwarding of this email is a little ludicrous. But of course the part that stated if I didn’t forward it I would be all alone struck a cord with me.
Personally I know that love isn’t going to ring my doorbell. I’m not expecting any company and the mailman places all mail into a mailbox. Besides I’ve seen the mailperson and no thank you (not that I’m being picky but she has breasts). I’m not expecting any packages, but if I were I wouldn’t mind the delivery guy…wow talk about legs and biceps!! The only problem is the guy would have to impress me beyond the physical. I admit that a beautiful physical form is a turn on, but if a person really wants to get me going, for me it’s about conversation. I’m not referring to dirty talk, I’m talking about a real connection. This aphrodisiac is the type that gets me knock-kneed. It makes me melt into a puddle of goo.
So in a small effort to prevent myself from being alone, I forwarded this email which has brought love to all those who have forwarded it. I’m not crossing my fingers or holding my breath. I would get carpel tunnel syndrome from keeping my hands in such a position for a long time. Everyone who has met me knows that I can’t hold my breath for very long so that wouldn’t work.
I just wish it was as romantic as it is in the movies…a stranger across a crowded room, a smile, a whispered hello and the momentary hesitation to ask for a date. I feel like one of those wall flowers at a dance who get to watch everyone else spin under the glitter and paper mache decorations. I’m sure I’ll get the chance once I get the rest of my life in order. Until then, the email has been sent out so that I don’t have two years of bad luck in love.