One of my roommates who I came out to recently asked me if he could ask me questions about homosexuality. I told him he could ask anything he wanted, but I also said I didn’t know if I had the right answers. He didn’t ask any that night, but somehow knowing that he could ask questions seemed to place his mind at ease.
This was a roommate that I thought was the most uncomfortable when I told him I was gay. I hadn’t planned on coming out to my roommates. I wasn’t sure how either would take the news. But when Andrew had called saying he found a ticket to fly up and see me, I felt like I had no choice but to explain. Or maybe I was tired and just didn’t want to keep that closet door closed anymore. My roommate looked like he just got sucker punched and then quietly said “that’s kinda cool”. But the whole weekend Andrew was here, he didn’t come home and stayed at his girlfriend’s apartment. They usually do their shacking in our apartment, she even has clothes in his drawers.
He hasn’t asked any questions, yet, but has taken me out for a health shake (his treat) and invited me to hang out with some of his buddies. He told me he didn’t tell them anything and that was up to me. Wow, he understood the “I’m in the closet for the most part” of my confession. And now our relationship is back to the way it was in medical school.
I think knowing that he could ask, could question, could research made it easier for him to comprehend that it is something different for me and for him. As I take my own journey, I have found that talking about it with people isn’t as difficult as I once thought.