Last weekend, I went on an annual camping trip with my college buddies. My buddies, well most of them, have recently found out I am gay. One of my trusted best friends leaked it during a drunken conversation at a wedding. So word spread. Most of them have not brough it up with me.
I went to sleep early. We had rented a cabin with several bunks and pull-out beds. I took one of the pull-outs. My other buddies were still outside enjoying a bonfire, playing cards and drinking.
When they started to come in, a group of them assessed the empty sleeping spots. One of my friends said “Who’s going to sleep beside John”. There was a moment of silence and then another said “Don’t be an ass” and then he slumped in the empty spot beside me. When the other two had found their empty spots, he whispered “I hope you didn’t hear that, but if you did he’s an ass”. He then squeezed my elbow.
I told him that I had heard it. He said he was sorry.
Although comments like this sting, it’s probably a natural part of the coming out process and I will probably have to deal with worse comments. The thing that makes it so bad is that one of my friends had said it. And it made me wonder what kind of comments were made while I wasn’t around to hear them.
My buddy that had reassured me, asked me later to be one of his groomsmen for his upcoming wedding. He actually choked up a bit when he said something like I have always been a good friend to him and that he would be really happy if I did this. You know I thought they hid us at their celebrations. I guess not in his case.
I guess there will be good and bad bricks in this pathway. I am glad that solid bricks have prevented me from completely falling.