On Saturday, I attended a party that consisted of old classmates, both from high school and college (and the new friends that they brought). I invited Chris and Phillip to come along. Funny, in high school he would have been the one to have been invited first, he probably would have had the party himself.
On the way to the party, I had asked Chris if he kept in touch with Dean (the host). They were part of an inseparable group in high school. He said no and then remained silent. I realized that I brought up a touchy subject.
Chris then told me that he had come out to Dean a few years back. Dean said he was okay with it, but then suddenly stopped calling, and was a bit too cordial or formal when they had run into each other at social functions. I told him that Dean was more than happy to oblige when I asked if I could bring Chris and some other friends. I didn’t tell Dean about Phillip and Chris’s relationship. I figured if Chris wanted anyone to know, he would tell them.
Chris then told me that along the way, some things will change. Some relationships would be severed, others would deepen, and relationships that were superficial, will blossom. He said it all depends on the type of character each person has. He said that he lost a lot of friends along the way, while others sort of drifted out of his life. But he added that his real friends, gave 100 percent support and treated him no differently then they did before.
When we got to Dean’s house people looked up in surprise to see Chris there. Dean gave him a cordial hug, much too formal. My hug was more warm and welcoming. There were more people who were more happy to see Chris and more welcoming. But there was a rift between Dean and Chris that was obvious, I saw more tension from Chris, but he hid it well.
After the party, Chris said that he had hoped things would have changed, that Dean would have matured with the birth of his children or even the success of becoming a partner in his company. He said one of the reasons he had agreed to come was because he thought that maybe Dean would have started acting like the old days. However, he found that Dean was still the same since the day he had come out.
When I got home, I called some of my own friends (the ones that know). I just wanted to hear their voices and know that along the way, I made the right choices in friendship and who to come out to. It was so good to talk to them and know that at least for me, with my group of buddies, things didn’t really change.