This weekend, my friends and I watched a movie about a gay coming out to his family. His struggles between wanting to be considered “normal” and also his real feelings, his real desires and coming to terms with his homosexuality.

It was a really good movie and moved me to tears. I understood everything he was feeling, everything he feared and all that he was going through. There were moments when he believed that this was all transient, that these feelings could be prayed away. He also went through moments when he felt that this was all abnormal. Finally he accepted himself.

Afterwards my friends and I shared some of our obstacles during our coming out periods. It is interesting to hear that some of these guys, guys who I thought were so strong and so sure of themselves, also had struggles. Because of who they are today, I just assumed that they came out running.

I have always realized that this journey will be a life long one. But I have also realized that the friends I have, the friends that I’ve made along the way and the friends that I will make, will help make this journey worthwhile.


11 Responses to “Understanding”

  1. Lemuel Says:

    You have experienced the joy and blessing of having friends who have opened themselves to you. It helps us to discover and to take into our being the fact that we are not alone and that others have experienced similar things. We (or at least I) can draw strength from that for our (my) own journey. It is why I struggle to reach out the best that I can to connect with others on their journeys. I need their strength.

  2. Robert Says:

    What movie? 🙂

    It’s a life-long journey, yet I think to myself, coming out is only but a fraction of what/who I really am! Have a good day Johnmichael!{{{JM}}}

    xo, r

  3. Steven Says:

    It does make the journey worth while meeting new people because of coming out, I count myself lucky with each new friend I make and you are counted as one I feel lucky about knowing John…hugs! 🙂

  4. Jim Says:

    And you will continue to meet more of those people by being true to yourself!

  5. deweydjb Says:

    You will be fine! You know, I really don’t think about coming out anymore, it has been so long ago. And I found a life I am comfortable with, a partner I love, a workplace and friends that are understanding. I can just be me. And that is the best way to live! I am glad you got to go out even if you did not dance. Dancing isn’t for everyone!

  6. Steven Says:

    Thanks to those obstacles, it has only made you stronger and more comfortable with yourself. Soon and unbeknownst to you, you’ll become someone’s “mentor”; someone who will be going through those same trying times and obstacles. And you’ll be there to reassure that it will only get better.

  7. urspo Says:


  8. Steve's Rebooted Says:

    Indeed ditto!

  9. Brad Says:

    So, seriously, what is the movie so we may all get emotional?

  10. BearToast Joe Says:

    I guess it’s why we call it “Family”, eh? We are all much more alike than different. Never judge the insides based on the outsides.

  11. (F)reddy Says:

    Oh sweetie! You are not alone! Look, here’s how I like to think about the gay. When you finally figure “it” out you’re basically starting over at birth. Regardless of your chronological age, you really have to start retraining your brain for your new self. Chronolgicially I’m a 39 year old guy. But I consider myself a 27 year old homo! Yes, I realize that makes it 12 when I started smokin’ the cock, but I’ve had 27 years to become a well adjusted homo. You’ve got SO much time. Just enjoy it.

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