Wrong Line

I had an amazing time at my buddy Mark’s house this weekend. He had a superbowl party at his home inviting his co-workers, local friends and some of our college buddies. And on his guest list was Andrew (who did attend).

One of his co-workers Danny has a gay son (but he didn’t attend till later). While introductions were made, Danny asked how Andrew had fit into the group and I ended up saying “he is my boyfriend, so he has a right to be here”. Danny later said he wasn’t questioning why Andrew was there, but said Mark had talked about me and some of our college buddies, even had pictures of us as wall paper on his computer and pictures in his office. He said that Mark had never mentioned Andrew before and that’s why he was asking.

While talking football, Danny then said “My son, who is like you and Andrew, doesn’t like sports at all. How did you end up liking it? My son, who is like you guys, he likes musicals, reading, and stuff like that. He also loves shopping and knows all the latest fashion stuff”. I told Danny that I was in the wrong line when they handed out the preferences, so there were glitches in my personality. He chuckled at first, then he looked me in the eye to make sure I was joking.

I think it’s funny that everyone seems to stereo-type a certain group of society. Danny ended up calling his son and asking him to come over. When the guy showed up, I wouldn’t have been able to pick him out of a crowd as gay (maybe my gaydar is still broken). To me, he was like every other person I’ve met–unique is his own way, with his own likes and dislikes. The one thing I liked about him, was that he was sure of himself and confident, comfortable in his own shoes and well spoken. He had his own business and is currently single (just got out of a seven year relationship, which stared his senior year of college and ended several months ago). But like I said, he was not at all like his father had described. He told me he went to musicals that his mother dragged him too, and donated money to the symphony and theatre in his mother’s name for her birthday. I asked him why he didn’t come to watch the game, he said he didn’t like football. Football he said reminded him of being roughed up by his brothers when they played as youngsters. He said he felt like it was their excuse to hit him.

I don’t know what I had expected. Maybe it was cause his father had mentioned that he liked musicals and shopping. And I realized that it was horrid on my part to assume anything at all. I was just as bad as his father, assuming that only heteros liked sports.

One thing I’m learning is that people are people, no matter what their preferences in any aspect of their lives.

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9 Responses to “Wrong Line”

  1. (F)reddy Says:

    A lot of “our people” look at me like an alien when I climb out from under my Jeep covered in grease and ask me what the hell I’m doing. Fixing my own car is an anomaly to them. Then they’re equally stunned when I can clean up and make them a fabulous meal. They tell me I’m, whatchoo call, the “whole package fag”! As an FYI, I also dig me some football AND musicals. I can’t get into basketball or hockey simply because both games are WAY too fast for me. I like to take my time to smell the hormones…er, uh, roses.

  2. urspo Says:

    the exposure we do, the more we educate; and people are less into cliche and homophobia.
    “Nothing in life is to be feared, only understood”. M. Curie.

  3. Lemuel Says:

    Very few of the gays that I have met (or observed, knowing that they were gay) in my lifetimehave the stereotypical mannerisms or interests that the general public likes to assume are the indicators for all gays.

    I have been amused additionally to be in a conversation in a “mixed” crowd in which the straights are obviously unaware that some of the group is gay.

    Rejoice, JM! Your gaydar is not broken. You just need to upgrade to the newest release that detects us all!

  4. Brad Says:

    Geez. His dad sounds like one of his worst enemies. What a prick.

  5. Tim Says:

    All this all-gay-boys-like-musicals-shopping-fashion-etc. stuff is foolishness and everybody knows it. I happen to like musicals, not because I’m gay, but because my dad–a straight-arrow, Navy vet who knows his way around a carburetor–loved musicals. If I’ve “Gigi” once, I’ve seen it a dozen times. I hate shopping and don’t much care about the labels in my shirts as long as they fit OK. On the other hand, I’m not a football fan. But I do love me some soccer and tennis, as much for the hot-looking players as the sports. Now that’s about as gay as it gets.

  6. Steven Says:

    Sometimes we have some stereotypes of ourselves. A lot of us love sports not just watching figure skating or gymnastics. But I have to admit that football is never my thing. I play a lot outdoor and indoor VB every week with tore-up Achilles tendon and bad knee.

    Honestly, a lot of straight men here are quite clueless. Europe is way cooler than us. I think that our gaydar would be way broken when we walk in Pairs. People are so much free to express themselves and not fear to be labeled.

  7. deweydjb Says:

    I like musicals and I hate football. I didn’t go to a Superbowl party or watch the game. But I like other things, too. Crime fiction being a favorite.

  8. Steven Says:

    We are all unique in our own ways, even under the stereotypes we are assigned. Without any identifiable stereotypes, we’re just like everyone else. Glad to hear that you had a great time! 😀

  9. Göran Koch-Swahne Says:

    Stereotypes are an interesting phenomenon, aren’t they?

    But the situation has become much better, the young ones are Great! Free in a way, not full of crap and hang-ups.

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