I had an amazing time at my buddy Mark’s house this weekend. He had a superbowl party at his home inviting his co-workers, local friends and some of our college buddies. And on his guest list was Andrew (who did attend).
One of his co-workers Danny has a gay son (but he didn’t attend till later). While introductions were made, Danny asked how Andrew had fit into the group and I ended up saying “he is my boyfriend, so he has a right to be here”. Danny later said he wasn’t questioning why Andrew was there, but said Mark had talked about me and some of our college buddies, even had pictures of us as wall paper on his computer and pictures in his office. He said that Mark had never mentioned Andrew before and that’s why he was asking.
While talking football, Danny then said “My son, who is like you and Andrew, doesn’t like sports at all. How did you end up liking it? My son, who is like you guys, he likes musicals, reading, and stuff like that. He also loves shopping and knows all the latest fashion stuff”. I told Danny that I was in the wrong line when they handed out the preferences, so there were glitches in my personality. He chuckled at first, then he looked me in the eye to make sure I was joking.
I think it’s funny that everyone seems to stereo-type a certain group of society. Danny ended up calling his son and asking him to come over. When the guy showed up, I wouldn’t have been able to pick him out of a crowd as gay (maybe my gaydar is still broken). To me, he was like every other person I’ve met–unique is his own way, with his own likes and dislikes. The one thing I liked about him, was that he was sure of himself and confident, comfortable in his own shoes and well spoken. He had his own business and is currently single (just got out of a seven year relationship, which stared his senior year of college and ended several months ago). But like I said, he was not at all like his father had described. He told me he went to musicals that his mother dragged him too, and donated money to the symphony and theatre in his mother’s name for her birthday. I asked him why he didn’t come to watch the game, he said he didn’t like football. Football he said reminded him of being roughed up by his brothers when they played as youngsters. He said he felt like it was their excuse to hit him.
I don’t know what I had expected. Maybe it was cause his father had mentioned that he liked musicals and shopping. And I realized that it was horrid on my part to assume anything at all. I was just as bad as his father, assuming that only heteros liked sports.
One thing I’m learning is that people are people, no matter what their preferences in any aspect of their lives.