Play Nice

I’m going to venture to say that although people grow-up, they don’t mature. Somethings just remain inherent. Like that sense of competitiveness that happens between any two males.

A few months ago, we got a new co-worker. Many people were fascinated by this new guy because he is just genuinely a nice person. And he always had advice for everyone, about anything. He is meticulous with his work and generally gets it all done.

One of the other male co-workers has loudly stated his disdain for the newbie. He states that newbie is too slow!! Newbie is slower because he is more meticulous. He looks over his work rather than just sending it in. He calls newbie by the nickname Gomer, because newbie is a country boy (but more like the boy next door, simple and naive).

But the other day I was mortified at Mr. Jealousy’s fang show. Newbie has been flirting with someone at work. Mr. Jealousy pulled her aside and started saying pretty mean things about Newbie, little things like “he’s a redneck that thinks mudding is a sporting event”. He told her things like “he tells people he wants in your pants”. And just other things that ended up with the girl saying “Newbie is creeping me out”.

I can’t believe some of the things that boys will do to make one another stumble.


6 Responses to “Play Nice”

  1. Tim Says:

    JM, you’re so right–some of us never leave the elementary school playground. Hopefully, Newbie’s interest is mature enough to see that–and Newbie as well.

    As sad as your post truly is, it made me chuckle because we have a close friend who now and then reverts to sixth grade. (When he acts his age, he’s simply terrific.) If he gets it out for somebody, he expects all of his friends to follow suit. But over time he discovered it backfires with us. We actually go out of our way to befriend the lambs he picks on, and not on the QT, either. So this last Sunday his boyfriend was out of town and he called to see if we wanted to go to dinner and we told him we already had plans with one of his “nemeses.” “You’re more than welcome to join us,” we said. You could hear the frustration in his voice because his first thought was to play the “I thought you were my friend” card and he knew that wouldn’t fly with us. “That’s OK,” he said. “You guys have fun.”

    Be Newbie’s friend and don’t shrink from letting Mr. Jealousy see that. If you try to appease him by not showing Newbie the respect you obviously have for him, you’ll get stuck back on the playground with Mr. Jealousy.

  2. Steven Says:

    Obviously Newbie is too good for the girl if she falls for Mr. Jealousy’s tactics. 😀

  3. Urspo Says:

    “The Sibling Society? by Robert Bly sums it all.

  4. Lemuel Says:

    I think my mind goes to the same place as Steven. I was saddened to read that the girl was creeped out by Newbie rather than by Jealousy.

    To be sure, on your larger point, I have known 97 year olds that never outgrew junior hi.

  5. Peter Says:

    Tim makes a point, fight fire with fire.

    Befriend Newbie, and show Jealousy that you did so.

  6. R Says:

    Mr. Jealousy sounds like an asshole. I’d rather be friends with Newbie!

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