Why Costumes?

This week my friends (Brian and Adam) and I ate at a sushi bar. Brian kept making comments about how the waiters in the silk robes were turning him on. Whenever our waiter set plates or drinks down on our table, Brian kept trying to look down his robe. I am grateful that the waiter found Brian amusing.

What it is about uniforms, role-playing and make believe that creates fantasy? For me, the biggest  turn on is the conversation, the way a guy smiles, laughs or a certain facial expression. One of the things about Andrew that really gets my heart racing is his smile. He has the world’s most fantastic smile. I’m not just saying this because he’s my boyfriend, I have really never seen a smile quite like his.

Brian then proceeded to tell us (and frankly I believe that most of it was too much information, however the sake got hold of his sensibility) how his ex had loved when he would wear different costumes (mostly uniforms). I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the personas that Brian had taken on. He told us that his ex’s favorite was the football or baseball players. Although Brian dressed up, his ex never wanted to, he just wanted to be himself. Brian said that no amount of pleading could get his ex to consider wearing anything but silk boxers in the bedroom.

I believe that the biggest turn on occurs when someone is themselves. No pretenses, no pretending, just uncensored raw personality. My fantasy lies in the reality. And it’s probably one of the reason that I consider myself a pretty boring, easily entertained person.


5 Responses to “Why Costumes?”

  1. Lemuel Says:

    I think that you are spot on, JM!

  2. The Troll Says:

    Amen to that.

    I can’t decide whether it’s sillier or sadder that some people need to pretend that their partner coming home from work is the FedEx guy, or the cable guy, or anyone else. It’s not that I disapprove–I have long since given up thinking I had a right to look askance at what anyone else does: whatever floats your boat, say I. It’s just that to me, that kind of role-playing seems like a really bad porno movie…

    It is however, something else entirely when a fantasy turns up in reality. That can set off alarms heard across town…


  3. DanNation Says:

    Great perspective! I enjoy leather and overall being fun and dirty – I guess that’s part of me!

  4. Urspo Says:

    The psychological explanation is twofold – uniforms and dress up help us get in touch with archetypal images, which can be very ” charged”.
    most of these things are masculine, so there is a lot of implied power and potency and sexuality – such as policemen, soldiers, ” people in charge”.

    dress up and role-playing can be jolly good fun, but it should be incidental not integral.

  5. Steven Says:

    “I believe that the biggest turn on occurs when someone is themselves.” That says it all. For what if the “persona” one likes is “around” only half the time? That would be a very unfulfilling relationship for me. And what if the person “tires” from portraying that “persona”? Then one has no one.

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