This weekend my relatives got together to enjoy some relaxation and fun in the sun.
One conversation really bothered me. One of my cousins got hitched a couple months ago and we were looking at pictures and reminiscing about the event.
Out of the blue my cousin said “yea that groomsmen is gay…he told me…although he doesn’t want anyone to know…he’s still in the closet and wants to keep it that way…he’s only told me and several other people”. Why do straighties take it upon themselves to out people?
When I asked her why she said anything, my philosophical brother replied “if he really didn’t want anyone to know, he wouldn’t have told anyone in the first place”. What kind of argument is that? What don’t people understand about taking this first step?
And why do they think it’s so simple to just step out, to make that announcement. And why the heck did she disrespect his feelings, his privacy this way. Yeah, I do remember that he was quite smashed that night, and why he chose to speak to my cousin about this, I don’t understand. I do know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to a stranger.
Later on that night, he also spoke to me. He was out by the pool and having a waiter bring him shots. I thought it was weird that a waiter was bringing trays of shots out of the reception area and followed. The guy talked about how weddings were not his “thing”…and then he just said “I’m a closeted gay and weddings just remind me about something I will never have”.
When we hugged good-bye, he said something that still tugs at my heart today. He whispered, “I’m so tired and I’m not even physically tired yet”.
On a good note, I called him tonight. He had given me his number and asked me to call him. I hadn’t thought about him till this weekend. It was a great conversation and he’ll be driving up to visit in two weeks to meet with some of the friends that I told him I made along the way. I’m going to stash him away at my friend Adam’s house. I’m still trying to get Andrew to fly up that weekend.
He told me he’s still in the closet, but it will be okay to meet other people who can help him open a window!