What Would I Have Changed

I think I may have written a post about this topic before, or maybe it’s a de ja vu feeling, because it’s a topic I’ve often discussed with other people. If I could go back in time, what one thing would I do to make my life different.

I have many different answers for this. It depends on who I’m with, what they’ve suggested and on occasion, the amount of alcohol I’ve imbibed. My answer would vary and be as shallow as “I would have drank more milk and slept earlier to gain height” to “I would have come out of the closet earlier”.

But the reality is, I don’t think I would really change anything. Let the past be the past. We can’t live in it and wonder what we could have done to live a happier life. I believe that things happen for a reason. We meet the people who we are suppose to meet and they change our lives for the better. You’ve always got to believe that people have changed your life for the better. Even if they have hurt you, caused you pain, you have grown from this hurt and learned about yourself and your interactions with others.

You travel down a certain path because the choices you’ve made led you there. Along that path you either chose one journey or another. And still from this, your character changed, you evolved. You molded yourself into a newer person. From all of this, you constantly shape and mold yourself into a newer person.

I have to believe that I’m where I am because at this moment in time, I’m suppose to be here. I’m suppose to be surrounded by the friends and family that are near. I look back over the past year, even the past couple months and I can honestly say that there were lessons to be learned from even a few days ago. A smile exchanged in passing, could have made a co-worker’s day. A light touch on a friend’s shoulder just reassuring them you are there. These minute exchanges, can alter a person’s mood.

So hypothetically, there are some things that I would have done differently. I wouldn’t have said some hurtful things to a friend, I would have been a better friend. I would have loved more. I would have studied more diligently and soaked up knowledge more readily. I coulda, shoulda , woulda. Some of these things, I did do. Some of them I didn’t. In the end, I can still do some of these things and make some of these changes now. And in the end, it’s still me…and one of the most important things about playing this “what would you have changed game” is that I realize that I grow to like me every day.

P.S.–this question was asked to me by a co-worker today.


One Response to “What Would I Have Changed”

  1. Peter Says:

    That’s the right attitude! You are what you are and that’s something you can’t change. But maybe now is the time to show off that side people don’t know of you.

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