I had dinner with a couple of my friends on Friday night. It was, as usual, a pleasant night out. Catching up with one another, describing our week–highlights and lowlights, venting, laughing and of course eating.
One of our friends invited an out of town buddy to join us. He described his friend as his token straight friend. I thought nothing unusual about this guy. He was friendly. He introduced himself, shook hands with everyone and joined in the laughter, the eating, the drinking, the merriment. He made it a point to get to know everyone seated at our table and even exchanged phone numbers/email/facebook stats in case we should ever be in Chicago and need a place to crash.
When he left the table to use the bathroom, one of the first comments out of someone’s mouth was “J, are you sure he isn’t gay”. J replied “He has a girlfriend. He has never has talked about it with me and he has always claimed he was straight”.
Another person at the table commented “Straight but wants a “D” shoved into his mouth”.
Why? Why do people have to go there. Why do they have to judge. I don’t understand…why must everything be about orientation? Just let it be. If this guy claims he is straight, then so be it. But everyone at the table kept saying their “gaydar” was dinging the moment the guy walked into the room. Mine of course is non-existent so no bells. I don’t want it to ding. I just want to get to know someone for who they are.
The rest of the evening…quite pleasant. I needed the laughter. I needed the companionship and of course I needed the nourishment of both food and friendship.