I’ve been dating a guy for almost a year now. He’s kind. He’s compassionate. I’ve rarely heard him criticize anyone, least of all me (and when I bring up my faults to him, he says things like ‘well you can fix it’). He always asks me how my day went and seems genuinely interested in hearing the answer. He sits there silently while I explain how my day went, good or bad.
The catch? He just sits there silently. And when I ask how his day went, he answers “it went well and I can’t complain” or something simple like that. He doesn’t expand. He doesn’t explain. Most of our conversation goes this way. When I ask him about something, he just explains. It’s like I’m dating the equivalent of the straight man conversationally (I apologize for the stereotype). It almost seems like he doesn’t have an opinion. And he does keep bringing up “if there is anything you want to know about me, just ask”. I have, and his explanations are usually simple and direct.
I’m a conversationalist. I love having conversations with people. I know that communication is important. I eventually would like to go into family medicine or psychiatry. I love hearing people tell me about their lives, their day, their innermost feelings.
It isn’t just me that has noticed his limited conversation. My friends have too. When we all go out to dinner, he sits and smiles during the conversation. He laughs appropriately and usually affirms what other participants are saying–by affirm I mean contributes by saying things like “well that is nice; sounds like you have had a busy day; you are funny”.
Maybe we bore him? Or maybe we just dominate the conversation. I don’t know what to make of this. I do know that I’m falling for him. I do know that the very sound of his voice makes my knees weak. And I do know that when we are sitting on the couch, the silence doesn’t bother me. I like being wrapped in his arms. He doesn’t have to talk at those moments.
Not really sure, why I am bothered by this…so I thought I would vent.