Two of my favorite childhood stories are Pinocchio and Dumbo. There is a song from Dumbo that I distinctly remember my Mom singing during the movie. When I was younger, Sunday night had the Disney shows. I felt so sad when the other animals picked on Dumbo, all because he was different. I don’t recall thinking that his ears were all that bad or that they made him stand out. I believe that even back then, I empathized because I knew I was different and therefore didn’t look for differences but how “outcasts” could assimilate into their community. The lyrics “those same people who scold you, what they’d give just for the right to hold you”, today reminds me of all my friends. Each one of my friends has a particular unique characteristic that has endeared them to me. And when I see someone hurt them or toss them aside, I think, if you only knew what I knew, you would love them too.
Pinocchio just wanted to be a “real” boy. As I mature, I think what I really want most is acceptance. Acceptance for who I am and not what I am. I am proud to be gay. And I have accepted that this particular genetic component can’t be fixed with psychiatric therapy. I would like people to think it is as natural has my dark brown and in the winter time black hair. I want them to realize that as soon as the doctor screamed out “it’s a boy”, that I was already destined to be a gay man. I want them to believe that I’m a REAL boy.