A Place of My Own

A year after we moved in together, my partner said we need to start looking for a place to buy. And I dug my heals. I was scared that having a home would entail a lot of work (lawn care, repairs). I should have listened to him. Over the couple years we have rented, we have put so much money into the pockets of the management company that owns this complex.

After he passed, I began to look at some properties. There seems to be some sort of shortage, or at least that’s what buyers must think. Every time I think I want something, my realtor ends up telling me “oh that went into contract an hour ago”. Every time I’ve put in an offer, I’m out bid. Some buyers have put down cash and beat out everyone’s offers. Who has that kind of cash to put down. My realtor said, those who have the cash to put down are usually “flippers”. Ugh.

I took a break this week to not look. I am not in the mood to be out bid, to like something only to have it go into contract before my lender crunches numbers and tells me what a monthly mortgage would look like.

This are the moments I miss my partner so much. He would have known what to do. He would have known how to out bid, how high to go, which places wouldn’t need a lot of work.

Looking for a place of my own…it’s so exhausting.

8 Responses to “A Place of My Own”

  1. Urspo Says:

    yes it is very exhausting.
    Pace yourself and eventually it will happen.
    Don’t settle for something only half-way liked.

  2. TW Tommy Thompson Says:

    You will get a lot of advice… from various sources.. its. buyers market… location, neighborhood are some of the keys, friends fairly near etc, .. I live in a Lil City of 48K, the streets in some parts of the City are still brick, its quaint, big trees, old houses.

    Be careful make sure you choose wisely given all considerations, sometimes I believe I am better leasing a condo, then continuing to repair this almost 100 year old home…. Things just happen… got to be prepared for those events

  3. Mistress Borghese Says:

    I think there are advantages and disadvantages to owning and renting. I personally rent, have a great land lord, and have everything done for me, with no worries. I don’t want the responsibly of a home. Plus I travel a lot, and would never enjoy a home. My mother threatens to kick my ass if I ever buy a home, lol!!! If I want to up and move quick, I can go now with now worries if my home would sell. But of course, then I don’t own anything.. maybe when I grow up lol…..but when I die, I can’t take it with me. When my mother passes I will then have the ancestral home to deal with.

    If your not in a hurry…I wouldn’t rush. You’ll just stress yourself out.

  4. Sixpence Notthewiser Says:

    I think it’s great you’re looking for a place!
    But it takes time and patience. Really. Sometimes you’ll see something you really, really like and then *poof* it’s gone. Make sure you have a good realtor and that someone trustworthy makes the appraisal.
    Those ‘flippers’. Ugh.
    Good luck!!


  5. anne marie in philly Says:


    right now, there are not many houses for sale due to COVID. and if one does put out a “for sale” sign, the house is usually gone in 1 week around here.

    patience, grasshopper. it will come to you.

  6. rjjs8878 Says:

    I would rely on friends and your real estate agent to help you make a sound decision. Find a new agent if you don’t have confidence in your present representation. Sadly, it seems house prices are escalating on a daily basis.

  7. mcpersonalspace54 Says:

    The same thing is happening in my area. My neighbor is trying to buy a house and she’s had something she’s put an offer on only to be out bid by someone else. She told me she placed an offer on a house $30,000 more than the asking price and she was still outbid. Good luck.

  8. Kirk Says:

    Both my parents were part-time real estate agents (because, according to them, it’s an almost impossible way to make a full-time living) and remember one of them saying very rarely does a house remain unsold for any length of time.

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