Been Awhile

I know I haven’t visited for awhile. I do miss you guys—a lot!

No real excuse. I started the masters in social work program. It takes up most of my time that’s left after I work. I still need my full time job to live, and by live I mean all the adulting stuff like pay bills, eat, and pay more bills. But I’m excited. I love learning. I love exploring. I love opening up my mind and interacting with other students.

I’ve also been planning my partner’s memorial service. Talking with the pastor and his relatives has me emotionally wiped out. Thinking about it, well I always think about him, dredged up some emotions I thought I had already dealt with. But I think I will never truly deal with those emotions. The sadness will always be there, at least the missing him will always be there. I do believe that he is the love of my life and will probably never be replaced in my heart. I know that I will meet someone else. But he’ll always be the love of my life.

Off topic, I think my pup needs to start wearing diapers. She’s 14 and has woken up in the middle of the night and not gotten me up. Last night I woke up cause she jumped off the bed and made a thud sound. I followed her into the guest bathroom where she then squatted and peed. Maybe she was sleep walking, but usually when she has to pee or poop, I get a look or a whine that she wants to go outside. This was the second time this week she did this. One of my friends said put a diaper on her at night. Last night when I walked into the guest bathroom, the look on her face was one of shame/sorrow. As peeved as I was, I told her it was okay, it was only pee and we could wipe it up. I hugged her and she still had this look of sorrow/shame. I also think that she still misses her “real” daddy a lot. The man who adopted/rescued her when she was only a couple months old from the shelter.

To quote Shife, I will do better. I’ll pop in more often and also read your blogs.

3 Responses to “Been Awhile”

  1. Sixpence Notthewiser Says:

    OMG so cool you’re going back to school! Exciting. Nothing like learning.
    And of course planning the memorial is going to bring back emotions. It’s natural and I think you should just go with the flow. Not everybody processes loss the same way.
    And sorry about the pup. Those things happen. Especially with age….

    XOXO

  2. Urspo Says:

    I am always glad to see you posting, and hear all your updates.

  3. Kirk Says:

    Good to hear from you again.

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