I was once told that if someone hugs you first, don’t be the first to let go. I thought it might be proper etiquette and that’s why you don’t let go until they do. However, I have come to realize that sometimes the hugger may need the hug more than the huggee.

Despite the oncoming pandemic, I have accepted dinner invitations out with friends I haven’t seen in a long time. Yes, precautions were taken. The places we are dining must have outdoor seating and our reservations have to be on the outdoor patio. So there’s that.

Two different friends over the course of a month have extended invitations. One friend in particular whom I haven’t seen since my partner passed hugged me tightly and started crying uncontrollably. She didn’t let go for well over five minutes. People starred. She kept whispering “I’m so sorry that you are going through this…you need us, you need your family and friends and I’m here”. The second friend at a different dinner hugged me tightly and said “I wanted to reach out sooner, I should have, I didn’t know what to say to take the pain away”. And again, she didn’t let go for a very long time.

Yes, I needed the hugs and it was comforting. But I also realized they were also both grieving and needed to resolve their grief. He is so loved. He has many friends. Friends that I should reach out to and ask if they are okay. I miss him so much, probably more today as I make my way through my new journey without him. But I know that his friends are grieving and it’s time I checked on them. They have done a fabulous job of checking on me. I need to return the favor.

4 Responses to “Hugs”

  1. Mistress Borghese Says:

    I think Im a hugger who doesn’t know when to let go either with people I know.

    So I will give you a hug also!!! Just tell me when….

  2. Sixpence Notthewiser Says:

    That was so nice! And you are right, sometimes the hugger needs the hug more than the hugee.
    So here’s another hug for you:



  3. Urspo Says:

    I have never heard of this hug rule. Fascinating.

  4. Matt Says:

    I was also unaware of the hugging etiquette but that works for me. Hugs from Idaho for you JM. Keep taking care of yourself and good to hear you are getting out more.

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