Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

A Place of My Own

April 18, 2021

A year after we moved in together, my partner said we need to start looking for a place to buy. And I dug my heals. I was scared that having a home would entail a lot of work (lawn care, repairs). I should have listened to him. Over the couple years we have rented, we have put so much money into the pockets of the management company that owns this complex.

After he passed, I began to look at some properties. There seems to be some sort of shortage, or at least that’s what buyers must think. Every time I think I want something, my realtor ends up telling me “oh that went into contract an hour ago”. Every time I’ve put in an offer, I’m out bid. Some buyers have put down cash and beat out everyone’s offers. Who has that kind of cash to put down. My realtor said, those who have the cash to put down are usually “flippers”. Ugh.

I took a break this week to not look. I am not in the mood to be out bid, to like something only to have it go into contract before my lender crunches numbers and tells me what a monthly mortgage would look like.

This are the moments I miss my partner so much. He would have known what to do. He would have known how to out bid, how high to go, which places wouldn’t need a lot of work.

Looking for a place of my own…it’s so exhausting.

Cared For

April 7, 2021

A good doctor can make all the difference. My current physician truly takes the time to listen and then advise based on the information given.

The office I go to recently went through some changes. My old physician (old in the sense that I’ve been with him for years) stepped into an administrative role. I was sent a letter that a newer physician would step in. When he walked into the room, he looked extremely young. I thought great, this Doogie Houser will now take care of me.

He sat down and did a “get to know you” interview. During the interview he also revealed certain quirks about himself. I got a bit of his own history, family life and why he became a doctor. He had read thru my entire file prior to this first visit and asked about things I didn’t remember telling my other physician.

I had gone to medical school–I went the research route after graduation, I had classmates that had no bedside manner. From day one, we were taught that bedside manner makes all the difference. Building rapport with a patient can make all the difference between a compliant one and one who will either never return or else let advice go in one ear and out the other. I don’t believe bedside manner can be taught. Being a people person is something that is innate.

This “new” doctor has made all the difference in my life, especially these past few months. He gave me his personal phone number and has said that if I ever need to reach out that he’s here. He talked about grief being a monster that can rear its ugly head at unexpected moments so having someone to talk to was essential.

It’s great to have that “old fashioned” family doc, one who truly cares. I wish everyone could have this doc. He’s a rock star.

Music And Memories

April 1, 2021

I’m sure I’ve written before about how music can conjure up detailed memories.

One of Phil Collin’s songs “That’s All” always brings back a memory of my just out of college days. I had moved to New Jersey and was working in a clothing store. We had a Muzac system (does anyone remember those). And Phil’s song came on. I was helping a wealthy customer, who’s two children immediately sat down on the floor to play with toys they had brought with them. While the customer droned on and on about the quality of the leather purse she was looking at, the older of two children started singing the song. She knew every line and I was amazed. She couldn’t have been more than 8. But she sang the song from beginning to end without missing a line.

That’s All for today.. 🙂

The Sign of Aging or Sign of the Times

March 23, 2021

I went to see my doctor a couple weeks ago. He put me on some blood pressure meds. My parents started their BP meds around the same age I am now. They are healthy and active in their 70s (Mama Bear) and early 80s (Papa Bear). No other problems except taking the BP meds.

I keep thinking of myself as if I’m in my 30s. I’m clearly not. Luckily at my last eye appointment, my prescription didn’t change. I hate picking out a new pair of glasses. And of course you know at the doc’s office they are overpriced. I’m fortunate that my insurance will pay for a new pair. Since the prescription didn’t change, I used it for a pair of sunglasses (at the advice of the doc).

Speaking to my therapist, he thought the rise in BP was because of everything endured this past year. He felt that some exercise and better eating habits (no Doritos and gummi bears–or at least in moderation) would help bring it down and perhaps in a few months, I wouldn’t need the meds anymore. The rest of my bloodwork was perfection.

I don’t want to jinx it, but I believe that spring has sprung. Yesterday on my walk with the pup, the temp was just right (she walked further and wanted to stay outside for a longer period of time). A good sign that weather agreed with her is when she doesn’t immediately want to go back inside. In the winter her routine is business and then bound for the front door. In the heat of the summer it’s the same. She’s basically a spring and autumn kinda gal. I am too.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021

Hope everyone is celebrating with some green beer (if you drink)!

I’m wearing my green, so no one can pinch me.

I was in Chicago for one St. Paddy’s Day. I was so amazed that they turned the river green. It was quite the site to see. And of course the celebration.

I live in a part of Columbus called Dublin. So you can imagine the kind of celebrations that go on here.

Have a great day everyone…

Busy Not Busy

March 10, 2021

The weather has been better so I’ve taking the pup on longer walks. She seems enjoys it. Although I do wish she wouldn’t stop to keep smelling everything in her path. But she gets outside and that to me is happiness.

Something about warmer weather also ignites invites to gather safely on friend’s balconies for cocktails and gossip.

Work has been busy and we are still working from home. I was told we will have a hybrid model and swing desks and what they call hotel desks (you bring your stuff in, but take it all when you leave). I don’t mind this. I think the pets love having me at home. And with my older pup having some kidney issues, she’s gotta go outside more.

I had dinner last night with a bestie. She made the comment “can you believe we are still friends after all these years”. I could. We always had our ups and never downs (relationshipwise that is–we have never fought. Our differences in opinions have always been discussed in a civilized manner). We have gone through major changes in our lives and were there for one another when needed. She told me that she was so happy when she found out I was moving to Ohio and to the same town. I am too.

Walks and cocktails with gossip have kept me busy, but not busy.

It’s No Sacrifice

March 1, 2021

It’s the season of Lent. As a former Catholic, now Episcopalian, we use to give up something for Lent. As a kid, I gave up things like chocolate, candy, playing video games. At the end of the 40 days, I would have been rewarded–an Easter basket full of candy/chocolate, a new video game, my favorite flavored potato chips if that’s what I gave up.

Several years ago, I had dinner with one of the bishops. It was a Sunday and as dessert was being passed around, I declined stating I gave it up for Lent. The bishop had turned to me and said something to the effect that Sundays don’t count, that we could have the thing we gave up on Sundays.

My partner explained to me that he didn’t believe in giving up anything for Lent because we just went back to it after Easter. Instead he was more pro-active. He would read a self-help book, or would pray more, something he thought would better himself. The argument was is it really a sacrifice? Was giving up something only to go back to it really helping? I guess it could have shown some self control, but I think he had a point.

I miss him. And I now he’s in a better place. I continue to ponder many of his ideals and think, my life was better because of him.

Asteroids The Medical Game

February 23, 2021

I had my yearly eye appointment yesterday. Love my eye doctor. He’s very thorough and explains everything in detail and what each test means, it’s outcomes and how it affects my eyesight.

I despise or get frustrated with the clicker and the “spot the lighted dot” test. It makes me think of that old game asteroids where the little asteroids come at you and you have to shoot them. The technician told me that even if I think I see a dot, click. He explained that some of the light shades are lighter and some are brighter. I think I get click happy. In the end I passed.

These eye exams have come a long way since I first went to the eye doctor in 9th grade. I didn’t get glasses until I was in college. I remember being in 9th grade and wanting glasses. I felt they made you look smart and many others were getting them. I didn’t need them, but still wanted them. I also wanted braces, but never needed them. I was a weird kid.

Side Effects

February 17, 2021

I got my second vaccine shot last week. I wasn’t sure what kind of side effects I would have given that everyone I talked to had different stories to tell.

First night, I felt nothing. I did wake up with a sore arm at the injection site. It was like someone knuckle punched the area. One of my friends texted and asked if I was okay/needed anything. I told her I was fine and that I didn’t have any real alarming side effects. That text jinxed me. I fell back asleep and woke up to chills, an achy body and headache. The aches were horrible! HORRIBLE. I would kick off a blanket as soon as I pulled it up, only to do the “need it, don’t need it” blanket dance.

I think the worse side effect was being enthralled by a reality show (yes I normally watch them, especially the ones with feuding housewives), but this was about a beach house. I ended up watching it for two seasons until all symptoms sub-sided. Once the headache was gone, the interest dissipated as well.

Credit Card Customer Services

February 11, 2021

I realized yesterday that I needed to cancel my partner’s credit cards. He had two. He stayed on top of payments (usually just paid them off at the end of the month). I found them in his wallet in the hospital bag. I hadn’t unpacked that bag. Hadn’t brought myself until today. There were the pj’s I dropped off for him and an unopened bag of peach rings which I snuck in with the pajamas (he loved peach rings–the candy).

I called the number on the back of the cards and both of them had automated voices asking for SSN or credit card numbers. And since I am not him, I just kept saying over and over again “I need to talk to a representative”. The robotic voice would say “sorry I didn’t get that, please state your SSN or your credit card number”. It was so frustrating. I know that if I just punched in the card number it would have just taken me to some automated voice again telling me “your card is paid in full” and then a “thank you…good bye”. And I would not have gotten to a representative.

Finally talked to two different representatives and he had no balance on either. And they cancelled the accounts.

I do realize that maybe, had I just punched in the numbers, perhaps I would have just been taken to a representative. Still having a hard time navigating this.

And now my heart hurts again.