Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Losing Touch

May 17, 2022

Over the past few years I have lost touch with some of my blogging friends. One of my friends stopped writing in his blog and therefore no idea how he is. We use to talk on Yahoo chat (I had an alias) and then someone hijacked that profile and I never got it back. I was so in the closet when I created that alias. Even when I started this blog, I used JM as an alias and never really used my real name. I still want to keep this blog somewhat private–in case I vent about work, my friends or family (LOL).

One of my friends however, the first blogger that I started chatting with, has remained a steady friend and we may briefly lose touch, but always find our way back to one another. Last night he messaged me through FB. It was so good to text with him. I remember some of our first conversations, using Yahoo chat, with the headsets so we could hear one another’s voices. We would talk for hours on a daily basis. In fact, I always thought of it as my first safe place. And I dedicate the song “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane to that very sacred safe place.

I could never have imagined making friends this way–virtual but real friends. Over the years I have met one blogger in person. And I would love to meet more in person.

So if any of you who read this are ever in Columbus, please let me know. We can meet for coffee, an appetizer, a stroll through one of our parks, anything. I’m so grateful for the friends I have made on here and know that I have evolved because of you, your blogs, your posts and comments.

Does He Miss Me

May 12, 2022

I went to dinner with one of my friends yesterday. He brought his boyfriend who I hadn’t met yet. We had a great time. I laughed a lot and also got to know both of them better. We talked about our coming out stories and how life had changed since.

They both asked about my partner. We became friends after he passed. They never got the pleasure to have met him. Everyone who met him loved him. At his memorial, his sister and I stood for hours being greeted by people who knew him.

I miss him so much, sometimes so much that I want to curl up and hide under a blanket. It’s been over a year since I said goodbye. But it still feels like yesterday. And I know he is in a better place. I know he is with his parents and grandparents. I know he’s with our pup whom he rescued and loved.

I sometimes wonder does he miss me.

Spoiled Brats

April 28, 2022

I read an article about a bride throwing a tantrum because her gay father said he wasn’t going to pay for her wedding. While she was growing up, he always promised her a beautiful wedding. When he came out, he still held onto this promise.

Fast forward a few years later. The father is happily married (to a man). The bride has told her father that her in-laws are extremely religious and asks that he not bring his husband. The bride has also asked that her new sibling not come either as there may be questions asked. The father said that if that her in-laws are so concerned, perhaps they should pay for the wedding. The bride then threw a tantrum and said that her father is going back on his promise.

Excuse me while I process this. She must have been lying the whole time to her in-laws about who she was and who her family is. So does her fiancee know that her father is gay and is married? Why is she hiding this? It’s part of her life? Is she a “don’t say gay” or “don’t ask, don’t tell” kinda person?

This rubbed me the wrong way! If this father is paying for the wedding, then it comes out of the shared expenses of his new household. His husband should be allowed to attend. Screw the in-laws! His side of the family knows everything (I am assuming).

She should be ashamed of herself. SPOILED BRAT is too weak a word for what I think of her.

Quiet Evenings

April 22, 2022

There are some days when I spend the evening reading. I finished a book called Juliet Takes A Breath. It is a fascinating novel about the coming of age young girl. Her views on life as she comes out to her family and discovers who she is and who she wants to be.

Now I am reading a book called The Night Circus. Also very fascinating and I can’t put it down.

I felt like I was watching too much television and using social media way too much. Picking up a book about an hour before my bed time has helped me fall asleep faster.

Happy Easter

April 15, 2022

I hope everyone has a happy Easter!! I hope that the Easter bunny brings everyone whatever it is they are wishing for! As for me, I am breaking into an Easter basket that will be filled with different kinds of chips from Doritos to Sour Cream and Onion chips to Wise Onion rings!! Thinking about it makes my stomach grumble as I fast on this Good Friday.

The masses beginning on Maundy Thursday are a solemn time for me. From the washing of the feet, to the stripping of the altar, the great Easter vigil and then Sunday mass when the priest announces He has risen and the joy that brings.

This Sunday I will also be having brunch with some good friends that my partner and I have had the pleasure of celebrating several holidays with when we moved to Ohio. They were his friends first. After he passed, they told me that I was to continue celebrating those holidays with them forever. I’m so grateful for their friendship as it has carried me through that tough period in my life.

Oh my gosh do I want some chips now!! And also some lamb chops or a well-cooked steak with grilled asparagus (despite the fact that it makes my pee smell funny).

Almost Easter

April 11, 2022

During the Lent season, I give up something for the 40 day duration. For me it starts on Ash Wednesday and continues until Easter Sunday. In the past I have given up many things ranging from candy/chocolate to some other unmentionables (viewing certain kinds of videos).

This year, I chose to give up potato chips. And I have done very good so far. During these 40 days, I have rationalized that Cheetos or cheese puffs are really chips, or Wise Onion Rings aren’t technically a chip because they are circular and made of onions. Luckily I held out and talked myself off that ledge prior to diving head first into one of those bags.

Seeing that this whole weekend I will be busy, I bought my chip stash at the grocery store ahead of time. I may have gone overboard and bought 5 family sized bags of chips (all different flavors from plain to salt and vinegar). Ummm, not sure how much of this I will actually eat and how much of it will end up being brought go friend get togethers.

Once when I gave up candy, I stayed up till midnight on that Saturday night and then shoved Reese cups and Cadbury eggs into my mouth till I was sugared out.

I will probably have bloated fingers from the sodium intake from all the chips I will eat on Sunday. I’m too old to stay up till midnight.

P.S. A bishop once told me that Sundays don’t count on Lent because if you actually count the days and include Sundays it is 46 days. I didn’t abide by that rule. A sacrifice is a sacrifice right?

Gaining Momentum

April 6, 2022

Can I ask how a bill like Don’t Say Gay gains momentum?

One of my friends just told me that it’s being presented here in Ohio, or at least some form of it.

I don’t understand. Please help me understand why we have freedom of speech, but doesn’t include our rights?

Trying to wrap my head around this? And what about the children who already know at an early age that they are gay? I knew in grade school that I was. What about the children with same sex parents? Can they no longer tell classmates about their two moms or their two dads?

Not On Vacation

March 31, 2022

I had to laugh at the last comment, from Matt, who asked if I was still on vacation. I laughed so loud my cat jumped off the couch.

I came back about a week ago. And I still feel like I need a vacation from my vacation. Does anyone ever have that feeling?

Since I have been back, I have basically been binging Lost. It’s an old series (well old in the sense that it has since gone off the air, but not old in the sense that it was something watched long long ago). And I am not sure why I didn’t watch this when it was out. I know that many people talked about it, blogged about it and my friends had long conversations about how good it was. I am not sure why I didn’t watch it earlier. I do get to binge it and I don’t have to wait week or even a season to see how a cliffhanger ends.

Back when it was out, I believe I was watching How I Met Your Mother and The Office. I can’t remember what else I was watching either.

I was new to the blogging world. I was barely out–in the sense that I was still so closeted. I chatted with a few bloggers via yahoo chat. But I then came out, full force. Something about gaining strength from everyone here helped me break down that closet door. And once it was down, well (sometimes it’s up), I never put it up again.

I’m so ever grateful for the power that I found in virtual and real friends. Of course my virtual became real too.

You can say that I’m no longer lost.

Lazy Vacations

March 23, 2022

I took a few days off and flew down to see my parents. They retired several years ago and moved to Florida. The house they live in was our vacation home for years, so lots of memories here.

I have done absolutely nothing. Literally have done nothing but eat, sit by the pool, and sleep. I feel like a dog. However, I feel good and relaxed. The first day was tough. I immediately woke up and checked email and then was stressed. But now, the third day in, I’m good.

It’s what vacations are for right? Doing nothing…

Crazy Busy

March 17, 2022

I have not gone away…I’m still here. But my life has been crazy busy!

I’ve joined an LGBTQ book club and that has been fascinating. So I am back to reading again. TV has been left off for a bit. Because the weather is nicer, and some mandates have been lifted, volunteer work is back in full swing (so that has occupied a lot of my time). Just so many things happening.

I’m taking a small vacation. Going out of town with my sister. A much needed break on my part.

And I’m interviewing for a new company. So wish me luck. I promise, during vacation I’m going to catch up on all the blogs that I have sincerely been missing!!