May 19, 2021

On most days, as I wake up, I can vividly recall my dreams. But the time I walk my pup, brush my teeth and shower, the dreams are forgotten and I can’t remember the content of my dreams.

Sometimes something will trigger the complete memory of the dream and I’ll remember once again in vivid detail.

Lately I’ve been dreaming about my medical school classmates. And when I see them, they are usually wearing the same style of clothes that there were when we were in school. Very odd. Last night I dreamed I was in an airport with some of these classmates and as I interacted with them, my realtor was watching from afar. Bizarre. Other times I just dream I’m interacting with them.

I wonder if these are tied to the fact that I’ve been thinking about getting another master’s degree. I’m a life long learner and love being in school.

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions

I keep my visions to myself.

Well it’s only me

Who wants to wrap around your dreams

And have you any dreams you’d like to sell

Dreams of loneliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering what you had

And what you lost

What you had

And what you lost

The Corrs

Airing Dirty Laundy

May 11, 2021

What does one hope to accomplish by airing their dirty laundry on social media?

I have friends who use passive aggression on their pages to vent their anger towards other friends or their spouses. I don’t think that this accomplishes anything. In fact, if I were the target of those posts, it would make a situation worse for me. I’m the type of person who needs the sit down talk, face to face between myself and the wrong doer or in some cases (because I’m such a good friend…LOL) the person I’ve wronged.

I watch a lot of Bravo TV, a lot of reality shows and these “friends” (yes I put that in quotation marks) like to fight in front of the camera. It makes for great television. But are they really friends once the cameras leave. Do they hang out when the season is over? Some of the arguments they get into are enough to sever friendships. And yet in the next episode they are sailing on yachts together.

In most real life situations, I think friends work things out without bringing the rest of the world into the mix. At least the friends I have resolve our differences that way.

Spring Showers Bring May Flowers

May 4, 2021

And May flowers have brought on severe allergies. Shew!!

This whole weekend was just one allergy attack. I couldn’t breathe on Saturday, which then exacerbated my anxiety. I seriously kept thinking I’m gonna die and sweetie I’m coming to join you. And then other thoughts went through my mind. “who’s gonna tell your sister to come and get the pets”?

I digress. Seriously. My allergies are out of control. The news here in Columbus keeps telling us that the pollen count is bad. And I can see the green stuff all over my car and balcony.

Hope everyone else is fairing well. Have a great week! May the 4th be with you!

Mall Food Courts

April 27, 2021

When I was younger, the food court was the place to hang out. Sittng with your friends (cause you really didn’t have money to shop) sharing a plate of fries (Boardwalk Fries–when they just specialized in fries) or a pizza was the thing to do on a Saturday afternoon. Those of us who grew up in the 80s can remember when the mall was the place to hang out. It’s immortalized in many scenes from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and other 80’s flicks.

As I finished up some errands, I thought I’m going to get some quick food (that isn’t fast food–mall court food is kinda of fast food though if you think about it). So I stopped by our local mall and decided on some fried rice and general tsaos chicken. Big mistake! Big!

The gastric explosions that followed about half an hour later and lasted for the next couple hours told me that I shouldn’t have. My poor pup too. So some may have “accidentally” fallen into her mouth. My partner use to tell me time and time again, don’t give her food from the table. So I will swear that the food accidentally fell off the table. She had the same gastric problems and her’s lasted awhile too. Luckily she let know when she had to go–and it was with urgent yelps of “no time to put the leash on, lets go now”.

Lesson learned. I haven’t eaten in a food court in forever and it will be forever till I eat in one again.


April 23, 2021

Yes, when I woke up on Wednesday morning there was snow on the ground. And yes it was pretty. But really?

I do enjoy a good winters day. But not when I want it to be spring.

When I moved to Ohio, friends who had lived here for years said to me “you can expect days when all four seasons occur within a 24 period”. They were not kidding.

I think it threw my poor pup off. Lynn was beside herself. She didn’t know what to make of it. It’s not that she hasn’t seen the snow before (14 years old), I think she wasn’t expecting it. She had a “really this mess” look on her face as she searched for a place to do her business.

But like true Ohio weather, by the afternoon the snow was almost all melted. We got a bunch of it too, I would say about 3 inches? I know it came up to Lynn’s knees.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish everyone a happy weekend!

A Place of My Own

April 18, 2021

A year after we moved in together, my partner said we need to start looking for a place to buy. And I dug my heals. I was scared that having a home would entail a lot of work (lawn care, repairs). I should have listened to him. Over the couple years we have rented, we have put so much money into the pockets of the management company that owns this complex.

After he passed, I began to look at some properties. There seems to be some sort of shortage, or at least that’s what buyers must think. Every time I think I want something, my realtor ends up telling me “oh that went into contract an hour ago”. Every time I’ve put in an offer, I’m out bid. Some buyers have put down cash and beat out everyone’s offers. Who has that kind of cash to put down. My realtor said, those who have the cash to put down are usually “flippers”. Ugh.

I took a break this week to not look. I am not in the mood to be out bid, to like something only to have it go into contract before my lender crunches numbers and tells me what a monthly mortgage would look like.

This are the moments I miss my partner so much. He would have known what to do. He would have known how to out bid, how high to go, which places wouldn’t need a lot of work.

Looking for a place of my own…it’s so exhausting.

Cared For

April 7, 2021

A good doctor can make all the difference. My current physician truly takes the time to listen and then advise based on the information given.

The office I go to recently went through some changes. My old physician (old in the sense that I’ve been with him for years) stepped into an administrative role. I was sent a letter that a newer physician would step in. When he walked into the room, he looked extremely young. I thought great, this Doogie Houser will now take care of me.

He sat down and did a “get to know you” interview. During the interview he also revealed certain quirks about himself. I got a bit of his own history, family life and why he became a doctor. He had read thru my entire file prior to this first visit and asked about things I didn’t remember telling my other physician.

I had gone to medical school–I went the research route after graduation, I had classmates that had no bedside manner. From day one, we were taught that bedside manner makes all the difference. Building rapport with a patient can make all the difference between a compliant one and one who will either never return or else let advice go in one ear and out the other. I don’t believe bedside manner can be taught. Being a people person is something that is innate.

This “new” doctor has made all the difference in my life, especially these past few months. He gave me his personal phone number and has said that if I ever need to reach out that he’s here. He talked about grief being a monster that can rear its ugly head at unexpected moments so having someone to talk to was essential.

It’s great to have that “old fashioned” family doc, one who truly cares. I wish everyone could have this doc. He’s a rock star.

Music And Memories

April 1, 2021

I’m sure I’ve written before about how music can conjure up detailed memories.

One of Phil Collin’s songs “That’s All” always brings back a memory of my just out of college days. I had moved to New Jersey and was working in a clothing store. We had a Muzac system (does anyone remember those). And Phil’s song came on. I was helping a wealthy customer, who’s two children immediately sat down on the floor to play with toys they had brought with them. While the customer droned on and on about the quality of the leather purse she was looking at, the older of two children started singing the song. She knew every line and I was amazed. She couldn’t have been more than 8. But she sang the song from beginning to end without missing a line.

That’s All for today.. 🙂

The Sign of Aging or Sign of the Times

March 23, 2021

I went to see my doctor a couple weeks ago. He put me on some blood pressure meds. My parents started their BP meds around the same age I am now. They are healthy and active in their 70s (Mama Bear) and early 80s (Papa Bear). No other problems except taking the BP meds.

I keep thinking of myself as if I’m in my 30s. I’m clearly not. Luckily at my last eye appointment, my prescription didn’t change. I hate picking out a new pair of glasses. And of course you know at the doc’s office they are overpriced. I’m fortunate that my insurance will pay for a new pair. Since the prescription didn’t change, I used it for a pair of sunglasses (at the advice of the doc).

Speaking to my therapist, he thought the rise in BP was because of everything endured this past year. He felt that some exercise and better eating habits (no Doritos and gummi bears–or at least in moderation) would help bring it down and perhaps in a few months, I wouldn’t need the meds anymore. The rest of my bloodwork was perfection.

I don’t want to jinx it, but I believe that spring has sprung. Yesterday on my walk with the pup, the temp was just right (she walked further and wanted to stay outside for a longer period of time). A good sign that weather agreed with her is when she doesn’t immediately want to go back inside. In the winter her routine is business and then bound for the front door. In the heat of the summer it’s the same. She’s basically a spring and autumn kinda gal. I am too.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021

Hope everyone is celebrating with some green beer (if you drink)!

I’m wearing my green, so no one can pinch me.

I was in Chicago for one St. Paddy’s Day. I was so amazed that they turned the river green. It was quite the site to see. And of course the celebration.

I live in a part of Columbus called Dublin. So you can imagine the kind of celebrations that go on here.

Have a great day everyone…