Early tonight, I had a sudden flashback from my youth. I was in the midst of washing the dinner plates when my partner placed his morning coffee cup beside the sink. He always leaves his mug on a side table (depending on where he sits on the couch). I use to clean up after him, but as some point stopped. When he put the cup down (as he has done many other days), I suddenly remembered an exchange with my Dad.
My mother and my siblings had stopped by the hospital where my Dad was working. His secretary had given me a candy bar, which I unwrapped and eaten in the hallway. As I passed a janitor pushing his cart, I tossed the wrapper into the cart, smiled and said thank you. My father looked at the janitor and said “I apologize for his rudeness”. I was taken aback and wondered what I did. Was it because of my tone during the “thank you”?
When we got closer to the car and out of earshot from any passerbys, my father told me that it was rude to toss trash towards people. He said I could have tossed it into a nearby trashcan where it would have been picked up later.
My Dad is the most polite person I know. He over tips, regardless of the service. He explained people have bad days, but they still need to make a living. As a physician, he never barked orders at his nurses or orderlies or anyone assisting him. I have rarely heard him raise his voice at my Mom, even when she raised her voice with him. And although he didn’t spare the rod with us, he would later apologize for the form of discipline but not for the punishment.
The lesson I still learn from him whenever we speak is be kind. Show respect. Mostly, be kind.
P.S. this is not a criticism of my partner placing his coffee cup near the sink. I like doing the dishes. I volunteer to do them.
