Hearing Problem or Just Plain Insensitive

September 5, 2022

I was shopping at a local grocery store and when I got through the checkout line to the register, the bagger was having a conversation with the cashier. He was using his hands to talk emphatically and was speaking quite loudly.

Here is what I heard:

Bagger: “No bad, VERY bad. Not good”

Cashier: “Was it parked far away”

Bagger: “In our parking lot. Broke window. Took everything”

Cashier: “Oh that is sad”

Bagger: “Yes Bad. Very bad. He so sad. He so angry”.

Mind you, the cashier is Asian. The bagger caucasian.
I only heard a hint of an accent from her. Her English was quite good. So I wonder why the bagger had to speak louder than normal (like she was hearing impaired or 10 feet away) and why he was using hand signals like he was trying to land a plane.

Where Has My Trust Gone?

August 27, 2022

I’m going on a second date with this guy I met on the app.
He offered to pick me up. I lied and told him I would already be in the area of the restaurant and we should just meet there.

We had a fantastic time on our first date. We talked for almost 3-4 hours straight at our first dinner.

But when he said that he would pick me up, I panicked. My first thought was I would be at his mercy. I would have to depend on him. And I want to be able to leave dinner when I wanted to. I also had visions of one of those Dateline stories. You know, I go out on a date and then I never come back and no one knows what happened to me.

I am over-reacting I know. And in today’s world, where he has texted me, he would be easily found and it’s known that he was the last person I was with.

Oh, I need to get a grip. Dating once again is difficult.

BTW, I am re-watching Glee and I’m enjoying it again. But I really really loved this new series The Bear!! Wow!

Busy Not Busy

August 7, 2022

Like most of you, I can’t believe that it’s August already. I’ve been at my new job for over two months now and I have settled in quite nicely. I love it and feel like I should have been doing this all along. But would I have appreciated it this much had I started here?

Columbus has had their Irish Festival. I thought about going, but decided against it. This rise in Covid once again has pushed me back into a bit of isolation. I am pretty careful, have always worn a mask out in public, avoid huge crowds and I’m picky about the get togethers that I attend. I just wonder, when will this end. One of my friends said it won’t ever go away, but become much like the flu. We will have a shot every year and then be done with it.

I am tired of being paranoid about getting it. But I am also tired of people who don’t take it seriously. Tired of all the “it’s not real, it’s just the flu” comments. Alas, I guess we will continue to have people who say it’s real and take it seriously and those who don’t. Isn’t that with everything though?

It feels good to be writing again, even though it’s just stuff and nonsense.

Settling In

July 15, 2022

It’s my mother’s birthday. She’s 78! Wow. I hope to look as great as she does when I’m 78. She spent a quiet time at home with my Dad (who is in his 80’s). They didn’t feel much like going out. And she said there was a thunderstorm in their area, so that complicated things (well scared them from wanting to drive). It use to be snow that kept them from driving, but now that they live in Florida, it’s thunderstorms.

I am finally settling in with my new job. And have a routine down pat now. I wake in the morning and exercise, shower and drive to work. Come home and hop on the treadmill for about thirty minutes. I think I am more energetic because I am happy. I love what I’m doing!

So I have been talking a lot lately with the guy I went on a date with. He wants to go out on another date. And I want to also. We will see where this goes. I’m hopeful, but not jumping in head first. However, I remember the words of a good friend “you are ready to fall in love, when you are ready to get your heartbroken”. I am sure that I somehow misquoted him.

A Date

July 6, 2022

I haven’t been on a date in a long time…until this weekend. It is the first date I have been on since the love of my life passed away.

I met this guy on an app. And we have been exchanging texts for a while and then that turned into phone calls. The phone calls would last a couple hours. He was respectful and let me take my time. He knew my history and was patient.

He finally asked if we could have dinner. And we did. The dinner lasted for a couple hours. We talked for quite a bit. It felt good to be out again. It also was a bit sad for me. I miss my partner so much. I wished it was him sitting across from me. But I also realized that I do need to get back out there. I get lonely. I want someone to talk to. I also want to go on walks and watch movies with someone.

I had fun. I felt guilty. But mostly I’m talking it slow…I will see where it goes.

Still Here

June 21, 2022

I am still here. Been busy loving my new job. This is what I had always imagine research would be. Everyone has been so welcoming.

Will write more this weekend.

Miss you guys

New Faces, New Places, New Spaces

June 1, 2022

I start a new job this week.

I”m looking forward to the change.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

I feel overwhelmed.

While it is still in the wheelhouse of research, it’s a completely different aspect.

I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

Horrified and Heartbroken

May 25, 2022

My heart goes out to the families and friends of Uvalde,Texas. This should have never happened. It is something that should have been controlled after Sandy Hook. I still remember where I was and what I was doing when the tragedy at Sandy Hook occurred. I remember the shock that such violence had happened to innocent children and teachers.

I read an article yesterday that said that children are taught how to barricade and what to do in an active shooter situation. The author went on to say that this kind of burden shouldn’t be placed on children, that as adults, the burden to keep them safe should be ours.

No parent, uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling, friend should have to experience the loss of their loved ones in such a violent manner.

Losing Touch

May 17, 2022

Over the past few years I have lost touch with some of my blogging friends. One of my friends stopped writing in his blog and therefore no idea how he is. We use to talk on Yahoo chat (I had an alias) and then someone hijacked that profile and I never got it back. I was so in the closet when I created that alias. Even when I started this blog, I used JM as an alias and never really used my real name. I still want to keep this blog somewhat private–in case I vent about work, my friends or family (LOL).

One of my friends however, the first blogger that I started chatting with, has remained a steady friend and we may briefly lose touch, but always find our way back to one another. Last night he messaged me through FB. It was so good to text with him. I remember some of our first conversations, using Yahoo chat, with the headsets so we could hear one another’s voices. We would talk for hours on a daily basis. In fact, I always thought of it as my first safe place. And I dedicate the song “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane to that very sacred safe place.

I could never have imagined making friends this way–virtual but real friends. Over the years I have met one blogger in person. And I would love to meet more in person.

So if any of you who read this are ever in Columbus, please let me know. We can meet for coffee, an appetizer, a stroll through one of our parks, anything. I’m so grateful for the friends I have made on here and know that I have evolved because of you, your blogs, your posts and comments.

Does He Miss Me

May 12, 2022

I went to dinner with one of my friends yesterday. He brought his boyfriend who I hadn’t met yet. We had a great time. I laughed a lot and also got to know both of them better. We talked about our coming out stories and how life had changed since.

They both asked about my partner. We became friends after he passed. They never got the pleasure to have met him. Everyone who met him loved him. At his memorial, his sister and I stood for hours being greeted by people who knew him.

I miss him so much, sometimes so much that I want to curl up and hide under a blanket. It’s been over a year since I said goodbye. But it still feels like yesterday. And I know he is in a better place. I know he is with his parents and grandparents. I know he’s with our pup whom he rescued and loved.

I sometimes wonder does he miss me.