Still Here

I am still here. Been busy loving my new job. This is what I had always imagine research would be. Everyone has been so welcoming.

Will write more this weekend.

Miss you guys

New Faces, New Places, New Spaces

I start a new job this week.

I”m looking forward to the change.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

I feel overwhelmed.

While it is still in the wheelhouse of research, it’s a completely different aspect.

I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

Horrified and Heartbroken

My heart goes out to the families and friends of Uvalde,Texas. This should have never happened. It is something that should have been controlled after Sandy Hook. I still remember where I was and what I was doing when the tragedy at Sandy Hook occurred. I remember the shock that such violence had happened to innocent children and teachers.

I read an article yesterday that said that children are taught how to barricade and what to do in an active shooter situation. The author went on to say that this kind of burden shouldn’t be placed on children, that as adults, the burden to keep them safe should be ours.

No parent, uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling, friend should have to experience the loss of their loved ones in such a violent manner.

Losing Touch

Over the past few years I have lost touch with some of my blogging friends. One of my friends stopped writing in his blog and therefore no idea how he is. We use to talk on Yahoo chat (I had an alias) and then someone hijacked that profile and I never got it back. I was so in the closet when I created that alias. Even when I started this blog, I used JM as an alias and never really used my real name. I still want to keep this blog somewhat private–in case I vent about work, my friends or family (LOL).

One of my friends however, the first blogger that I started chatting with, has remained a steady friend and we may briefly lose touch, but always find our way back to one another. Last night he messaged me through FB. It was so good to text with him. I remember some of our first conversations, using Yahoo chat, with the headsets so we could hear one another’s voices. We would talk for hours on a daily basis. In fact, I always thought of it as my first safe place. And I dedicate the song “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane to that very sacred safe place.

I could never have imagined making friends this way–virtual but real friends. Over the years I have met one blogger in person. And I would love to meet more in person.

So if any of you who read this are ever in Columbus, please let me know. We can meet for coffee, an appetizer, a stroll through one of our parks, anything. I’m so grateful for the friends I have made on here and know that I have evolved because of you, your blogs, your posts and comments.

Does He Miss Me

I went to dinner with one of my friends yesterday. He brought his boyfriend who I hadn’t met yet. We had a great time. I laughed a lot and also got to know both of them better. We talked about our coming out stories and how life had changed since.

They both asked about my partner. We became friends after he passed. They never got the pleasure to have met him. Everyone who met him loved him. At his memorial, his sister and I stood for hours being greeted by people who knew him.

I miss him so much, sometimes so much that I want to curl up and hide under a blanket. It’s been over a year since I said goodbye. But it still feels like yesterday. And I know he is in a better place. I know he is with his parents and grandparents. I know he’s with our pup whom he rescued and loved.

I sometimes wonder does he miss me.

Spoiled Brats

I read an article about a bride throwing a tantrum because her gay father said he wasn’t going to pay for her wedding. While she was growing up, he always promised her a beautiful wedding. When he came out, he still held onto this promise.

Fast forward a few years later. The father is happily married (to a man). The bride has told her father that her in-laws are extremely religious and asks that he not bring his husband. The bride has also asked that her new sibling not come either as there may be questions asked. The father said that if that her in-laws are so concerned, perhaps they should pay for the wedding. The bride then threw a tantrum and said that her father is going back on his promise.

Excuse me while I process this. She must have been lying the whole time to her in-laws about who she was and who her family is. So does her fiancee know that her father is gay and is married? Why is she hiding this? It’s part of her life? Is she a “don’t say gay” or “don’t ask, don’t tell” kinda person?

This rubbed me the wrong way! If this father is paying for the wedding, then it comes out of the shared expenses of his new household. His husband should be allowed to attend. Screw the in-laws! His side of the family knows everything (I am assuming).

She should be ashamed of herself. SPOILED BRAT is too weak a word for what I think of her.

Quiet Evenings

There are some days when I spend the evening reading. I finished a book called Juliet Takes A Breath. It is a fascinating novel about the coming of age young girl. Her views on life as she comes out to her family and discovers who she is and who she wants to be.

Now I am reading a book called The Night Circus. Also very fascinating and I can’t put it down.

I felt like I was watching too much television and using social media way too much. Picking up a book about an hour before my bed time has helped me fall asleep faster.

Happy Easter

I hope everyone has a happy Easter!! I hope that the Easter bunny brings everyone whatever it is they are wishing for! As for me, I am breaking into an Easter basket that will be filled with different kinds of chips from Doritos to Sour Cream and Onion chips to Wise Onion rings!! Thinking about it makes my stomach grumble as I fast on this Good Friday.

The masses beginning on Maundy Thursday are a solemn time for me. From the washing of the feet, to the stripping of the altar, the great Easter vigil and then Sunday mass when the priest announces He has risen and the joy that brings.

This Sunday I will also be having brunch with some good friends that my partner and I have had the pleasure of celebrating several holidays with when we moved to Ohio. They were his friends first. After he passed, they told me that I was to continue celebrating those holidays with them forever. I’m so grateful for their friendship as it has carried me through that tough period in my life.

Oh my gosh do I want some chips now!! And also some lamb chops or a well-cooked steak with grilled asparagus (despite the fact that it makes my pee smell funny).

Almost Easter

During the Lent season, I give up something for the 40 day duration. For me it starts on Ash Wednesday and continues until Easter Sunday. In the past I have given up many things ranging from candy/chocolate to some other unmentionables (viewing certain kinds of videos).

This year, I chose to give up potato chips. And I have done very good so far. During these 40 days, I have rationalized that Cheetos or cheese puffs are really chips, or Wise Onion Rings aren’t technically a chip because they are circular and made of onions. Luckily I held out and talked myself off that ledge prior to diving head first into one of those bags.

Seeing that this whole weekend I will be busy, I bought my chip stash at the grocery store ahead of time. I may have gone overboard and bought 5 family sized bags of chips (all different flavors from plain to salt and vinegar). Ummm, not sure how much of this I will actually eat and how much of it will end up being brought go friend get togethers.

Once when I gave up candy, I stayed up till midnight on that Saturday night and then shoved Reese cups and Cadbury eggs into my mouth till I was sugared out.

I will probably have bloated fingers from the sodium intake from all the chips I will eat on Sunday. I’m too old to stay up till midnight.

P.S. A bishop once told me that Sundays don’t count on Lent because if you actually count the days and include Sundays it is 46 days. I didn’t abide by that rule. A sacrifice is a sacrifice right?

Gaining Momentum

Can I ask how a bill like Don’t Say Gay gains momentum?

One of my friends just told me that it’s being presented here in Ohio, or at least some form of it.

I don’t understand. Please help me understand why we have freedom of speech, but doesn’t include our rights?

Trying to wrap my head around this? And what about the children who already know at an early age that they are gay? I knew in grade school that I was. What about the children with same sex parents? Can they no longer tell classmates about their two moms or their two dads?